bryan stratton dot com » blather

HELLO WORLD

Bryan Stratton — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 18:37:24 +0000

Look who finally got off his ass and did something with bryanstratton.com!

Well, hopefully, anyway. Won’t know if the DNS servers updated for another 24-72 hours, but everything seems like it should work okay.

Today, I’m importing a bunch of blog entries from Facebook and MySpace… assuming that MySpace accounts don’t go away if you don’t check them for a year or so. (Once Rupert Murdoch acquired the site, my enthusiasm for it greatly diminished. Once my mom figured out how to use it, that was the end of the party.)

Tagged: blather

Old School vs. New School

Bryan Stratton — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 16:32:05 +0000

It has now been scientifically proven that there’s nothing quite like the smug sense of contentment that comes of being an English major:

Media Studies and other trendy ‘Mickey Mouse’ degrees ‘leave students disatisfied’

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got 30 more pages of Ulysses to get through in order to hone my witty cocktail party banter. Pinkies out, gentlemen, pinkies out.

Note to Self

Bryan Stratton — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 15:07:29 +0000

Do not fly Nepal Airlines. Ever.

My Birthday Is Exactly Six Months Away

Bryan Stratton — Sun, 15 Jul 2007 18:36:48 +0000

And this is what I want for it.

New TV Show Ideas

Bryan Stratton — Sat, 30 Jun 2007 20:33:37 +0000

Joyce and I came up with two new reality show concepts last night. I’m posting them so that no one can steal them from us. Also, so that she can’t steal them from me:

G-8 PUB CRAWL: The leaders of the seven most powerful nations on earth (and Canada) fly from city to city on a worldwide bender. Last one standing is granted most favorable trade status by the others. Also, he can no longer pretend that Laura made him quit drinking when he turned 40.

(TO BE NAMED LATER): Four guys go into rough small-town bars on a Friday night and instigate trouble. We’re not sure of the legality of it, but we think that as long as they don’t throw the first punch or overtly threaten anyone, we’re covered. One of the guys is a mixed martial artist. The others are just wiseasses. Working title: “Three Pussies and a Gracie.”

Spam Roundup

Bryan Stratton — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 18:14:27 +0000

A breakdown of the weekend’s spam, by category:

TOTAL MESSAGES: 39

PENIS ENLARGEMENT: 7. Four of them begin bluntly with the line, “You need a bigger dick.” I always thought I was doing okay, but jeez, seven messages in one weekend? Statistically speaking, I think that at least some of those have to be from ex-girlfriends.

ONLINE PHARMACY: 11. Three of them were specifically for anti-impotence drugs. The rest just sort of implied that I could buy Viagra online for cheap without really needing a prescription. But seriously, who cares if my tiny cock is also limp? That’s like complaining that your Kia doesn’t have a turbo boost button.

GAMBLING SITES: 7. I guess they figure that if I’m dumb enough to drop the cash at online pharmacies to try and salvage my worthless penis, then I’m also the moron with disposable income that they’ve been looking for.

INTERNET DATING: 10. For the record, the only online gambling I do is on dating sites, so they actually pegged me pretty well here. But until I get my pecker working, I’m not going to subject myself to that kind of humiliation.

CHEAP SOFTWARE: 2. How did they know I owned a computer???!?

FAKE ROLEX: 1. I’m glad to see that the counterfeit jewelry business is still out there, but judging from their lack of spam, I’m concerned that they may have fallen on hard times.

And I’m just going to post the last message in its entirety, which I’m pretty sure was sent from Pat Robertson’s Regent University:

- – - – -

From: Percy Dickens
Subject: Hate Study?

Good News!

Interested to obtain Bachelors’, Masters’, MBA’s, Doctorate & Ph.D. degrees
available in your field in 2 weeks time?

It’s available now…

Call Us and get yours today
1-413-280-6792

Our Education office has someone available 24 hours a day, 7 Days a week

Why waiting?
1-413-280-6792